edit and add and extend and organize my 2 page essay

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hello my assignment is (analyze your progress during the first semester and present reactions in a 2-3 page paper. You should reflect on your growth and development as a student and as an individual from the beginning of the semester to the end. Discuss your accomplishments, challenges, activities that you participated in this semester, and overall reflection of your first semester at Bowi .

i wrote my essay and i want you to add and organize it and make it in order :

1 -Thesis

2- Hook & Intro

3-Description of the beginning


5-Accomplishments or outcomes

6-Changes you have made

7-People you have met


this is my essay:

When I realized I would start my first year of college I felt overwhelmed. First of all, university means a lot of people and I tend to experience some sort of social anxiety when surrounded by big crowds. I would worry that I would not be able to integrate between them and make friends.

So, I expected my first day of college to be very difficult. However, fortunately, things didn’t go as I previously imagined them. To my surprise, there weren’t that many people around me, so I luckily didn’t experience any social anxiety. The professors were all great and amazing people. They were very kind and understanding to me, so they made me feel welcomed and comfortable and they raised my confidence in myself, as well.

Although I thought I would never seem so interesting to a person so that they would want to talk to me, from the second day of college, someone approached me. We began talking and quickly became friends. Later on, he introduced me to his group of friends and this is how I started talking to more people. They were very friendly and open to me and they accepted me right away as one of their peers. Although shy at first and afraid to approach people, I am actually a very social person and I enjoy talking to people very much, so the fact that in the very first month of college I managed to make myself a group of friends meant a lot to me.

Second of all, English is my second language, so I am an ESL student, and this was a huge challenge for me. Studying in a new language is completely different from learning English at school as a foreign language for two hours a week: it is much more difficult and intense. In the beginning, I was very scared that I will not be able to keep up with it. I thought I would be failing all my classes and would be forced to quit college. My writing skills in English were not very developed, not to an advanced-native level and I had trouble with broadening my vocabulary, so I thought I had real reasons to worry about my academic success. I felt very stressed and my confidence was at a low level.

Things were not as I imagined before starting college. I worked super hard, but it wasn’t impossible and unachievable. As I wasn’t very fluent in English before coming to university, in the beginning, I had to spend a lot of time on my schoolwork. I had to translate everything into Arabic for me to be able to fully understand the lessons. Every homework and assignment was a real struggle at first. But after putting in so much effort, I began to master English more and more. I learned many new words, improving my vocabulary. Seeing my progress so far makes me really proud of myself. It is a real boost for my self-confidence and now I trust that I will be able to finish college and not have to drop out as I thought before.

As far as writing in English is concerned, as I mentioned previously, it was a very difficult task when I started. Although I was good at talking and expressing my ideas out loud in English, when I had to put everything on paper, I had trouble with spelling and grammar. To overcome this obstacle, I hired a private tutor to help me improve my English skills. I enjoy taking lessons with her, she is very patient with me and corrects all my mistakes and gives me detailed explanations for everything I do wrong. She asked me to start writing down all my thoughts, ideas and everything that goes in my mind and not be afraid of committing mistakes, as they are a natural part when learning a foreign language. She assured me that she would not judge me, and she would correct my writing, giving explanations for all my mistakes. She gave me the confidence to approach my homework essays and, in the end, they turned out well. This method really worked for me and nowadays my English is at a much better level compared to when I started. This shows in my grades which are now mostly A+. Now I have the confidence that I will continue to improve it until I speak like a native.

Although I saw college as an overwhelming challenge at the beginning, I am now proud to look back and see how much I have improved. I managed to overcome it and that shows in my grades which are mostly A+. I am very content that all my hard work paid off and now everything is well.

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